i just needed to post this. haha.

Unfaithful by Rihanna

Story of my life
Searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul
Cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company

He's more than a man
And this is more than love
The reason that the sky is blue
But clouds are rolling in
Because I'm gone again
And to him I just can't be true

And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer

I feel it in the air
As I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss upon my cheek
As he reluctantly
Asks if I'm gonna be out late
I say I won't be long
Just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know
Where I'm about to go
And we know it very well

Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer

Our love, his trust
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore
Uh
Anymore (anymore)

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
And everytime I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside
And I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be...
A murderer (a murderer)

No no no no

Yeah yeah yeah

sorry kids but my update is not as exciting as cheri's. haha. but man, i loved ur post.. with pix pa talaga. mmmm.. haha.
so this is what ive been up to lately..

- as per my previous post, i applied for sup trainee position. i underwent 2 interviews. i felt like the second one was bad as compared to the first. mejo matino pa akong sumagot at magkiki-kilos dun sa first interview ko eh. so it was a big surprise for me i got hired by the manager from my second interview. at, tinawagan pa ako personally ng OM. yun naman. yes, ill be a slave ng mga manager and reps. haha. but its all good. two and a half years of taking calls is enough. now is the time to step up. naks. my start date was suppossed to be monday. but since i cant be released yet, ill be starting by april 24. hopefully all goes well. im kinda scared cos this new account is way, way different as compared to the admin work ive been exposed to. but im excited to learn new things and i would love the challenge! morning nga lang ito. obrera sweldo. pero what can i do. bahala na si batman.
ill miss my inphonic friends. ill miss our noise (walang maingay sa bagong acct ko). ill miss yung mga barubal at bastos na usapan. haha. ill miss yung mga pang-aasar sakin. but ill visit.. always. haha. di naman. once a week lang.
thanks to all my friends for always being there and for believing in me. thanks to all my sups (namely emmah, pam, and marvin..) and manager for pushing me to excel. naks. drama. pang-awards speech ba ito?! hehe.
so i guess di na ako magre-resign (echos). and at least ive finally found the answer to how i can make ipon P20,000 in the next 5 months for enzo's 1st bday party. yey.

- ive been seeing my dad a lot the past few days. we went to my sis' house on sunday. then yesterday, to my dad's house. all cos they wanted to see enzo. si mother, mega react naman. when my brother told my mom they wanted to take enzo with them, sabi ba naman nya, 'e nakita na nya yan nung sunday ah?' (referring to my dad). tapos pag-uwi naman, humihirit mom ko na that will be his last lakad is christmas na. haller. mother?! haha. funny lang. kayang ipagdamot ang apo eh.
nakakatuwa naman ang dad ko.. cos i guess enzo's the only grandchild who will be bearing his surname. twas great to see my dad again, since the last time i saw him was last christmas. he has been asking how enzo was and has been asking my sibs to take him to his house cos he wanted to see him. awww.. how sweet. he carried him for a bit then we took pictures. we only had small talk but it was invaluable. he's been telling me to always take very good care of enzo, make sure he has complete shots, etc. then before he left, he gave enzo money for milk and he said "david apelyido nyan ah. wag mong papalitan." funny. so i guess when i get married, my future husband cant adopt enzo. mahirap na paliwanagan nanaman to.. but anyhoo..

--was on forced leave some friday and saturday ago. sunday was my rest day since ill have a new sked with weekends off. yay! since i was on forced leave and di naman alam sa bahay, being the dutiful employee that i am (HA!), i [pretended] to go to work on the said days. half day lang ako ng friday/saturday morning. pano ba naman, all my friends either have work or out with someone. sorry anj, wasnt able to go to tiesto wit ya. my wallet simply wouldnt let me. hehe. mas important ang gatas ni enzo..
saturday, had dinner with office friends at italianis then headed to government in makati ave. culture shock, i tell you. but eventually, you'll get the hang of it and enjoy them gay people. they're so fun to be with. hehe.

-my uncle (mom's brother) passed away some mondays ago. he had lung and bone cancer. havent been to the wake cos walang magbabantay kay enzo. ayaw naman ni mother na dalhin ko si enzo sa wake. so there. i wasnt close to him (yeah, like im close to other family members...), but he was nice to me. i remember every new year, he would go to our house to visit his sisters. then he'd always give me xmas money kahit new year na. hehe. may he rest in peace. at least he's not suffering and feeling pain anymore.

-my mom and i had a fight some weeks ago but we're are okay na. we had an arguement over the ingredients of leche flan. hay nako.

-dont ask anything about my love life or sex life. both are non-existent. and i dont care. career muna asikasuhin natin. haha. sabi nga ni pam, "you cant have it all". true.

-around 2 day ago, i got to reflect on some things in my life. you know the saying that it takes half the time you were with the person to get over him/her. mine is not the case. its been more than the time we were together and im still not over him pala. i havent completely moved on cos ive been in denial. pinapakita or sinasabi ko lang wala na ito.. hindi pala. i was listening to emancipation of mimi and track 4, mine again, was playing. bigla akong naiyak. nun ko lang talaga sha naiyakan at nalabas. so there. at least nasa acceptance stage na ako. i will take some more time before this whole ordeal is over. im slowly but surely recovering. anyway, magiging busy na rin naman ako so diversion ang work.

-enzo's turning 7months in 2 days. yey. ambilis ng panahon. kaya na nyang tumaob and tumihaya. and he's attempting to crawl. and nag ngingipin na. ohwhatajoy.. :)

yun lang. :)

i went to arlington, araneta ave. yesterday. my high school bestfriend's (alma's) dad passed away last monday. it came as a shock to everyone who knew him. anyhoo, i kinda felt guilty cos i havent been in touch with her and her family. they were great. so i decided to go to the wake after my shift since ill be on restday the next day.
cubao scares me. that place will always have this bad memory etched in my brain. first bad thing that happened to me was when i was in high school. my mom vehemently oppossed me going to UP. but being the deviant kid that i am, i made some lame excuse and went there all by lonesome self. hell, i didnt even know how to get there. to make the long story short, i was riding a jeep and i was the only one left. so he asked where i was headed. i said UP. then he said he'll take me there. basta, niligaw nya ako. but it was in the afternoon so di naman nya akong dalhin sa talahiban or what have you. how did i get home? i saw a jeep going to rosario. basta i told the gagong jeepney driver i had to go home na.
so yesterday, i just followed my instincts and let my feet do the walking to where ever will take me to araneta ave. my officemate told me to ride a divisoria jeep. wala naman. i saw jeeps going to quiapo. so what the hell. malagpasan ko man, at least im in quiapo. i wont get lost there. i rode the jeep while the stop light was on red. there were several barkers. out of nowhere, i felt someone pinch my right arm. nagkasugat pa nga ako eh. obviously, i was surprised and scared. then my gold bracelet was gone. well, im not really sure if its real gold or what. pero basta yon. i transferred to the other side of the jeep na lang. buti na lang he didnt grab my bag. and buti na lang hindi ako nasaksak or i wasnt harmed in anyway. hambilis nyang tumakbo ah.
hay nako nga naman. what desperate times do to people. basta, the next time i go there, me kasama na ako. that place gives me the creeps.

- enzo turned 6months last march 17. 9kilos and 2 feet and 1-2inches as to date. grabe, he's so big. hehe. we went to the pedia last march 15 since twas payday so i had money na and sked na nya. he was given injection for HiB. i was relieved kasi isa lang. kala ko mura-mura since 1 injection lang. or so i thought. my gulay, pagsabi sakin kung magkano babayaran ko, gusto kong lumagapak sa lupa. e last visit ganun din, pero 3 injections yon. there goes P1,500. pero okay lang. as long as mi bebe is healthy. :)

-on the 16th, i went to the city hall to get my solo parent certificate so i can file for solo parent leave. as it turns out, the guy processing my affidavit for single parent said there was a mistake in enzo's birth cert. it was the hospital's mistake cos the lady who gave me the form shouldve known what to do and shouldve told me what to write there. she knew i was a single parent in the first place. i was assuming that since enzo will be using my surname, he would also be taking my middle name. di daw ganon. kasi ang labas daw nya kapatid instead of anak. so good luck. mahal ang lawyer and all that bullshit law processing chorva. i guess baka naman inassume ng secretary that my kid will be using the dad's surname. pero hindi talaga eh. nakalagay nga sa name of father field ay N/A.
also, the guy, while he was typing my affidavit, asked the circumstances involving me being a solo parent (not that it needed to be documented on the affidavit). simpleng interview lang kumbaga. he asked if the sperm donor and i were still talking and seeing each other or in short, our set up. well, i told him the truth that he was non-existent in my life. he said, "gago yon ah. salbahe. alam mo bang pwede mong idemanda yon?" haha. funny guy. i told him, no need. tinanong pa ako kung bakit. i said its useless. chaka, ang pride ko. hanggat me natitira pa, let's keep that intact. hehe.

-anyhoo, i had an interview last saturday for trainee position. ewan ko ba. feeling ko naman tama yung pinagsasabi ko. well, most of them. pero parang mali lang yung way na pagkaka-explain ko. bahala na si batman.

-i wasnt my usual self today. was late for work for an hour. bakit kasi kelangan pang ma-adjust ng 1hour earlier. but o well, what can i do. nakaka-guilty lang cos i know its partly or entirely my fault kung bakit ako na-le-late. nakakahiya na sa mga sup ko. hay. focus! focus!

-at! bukod don, me isa pa. i wont elaborate on it since my officemates read my blog. hehe. basta, im praying fervently na wala lang yon. i dont want to think na malulusutan ko yon. i dont want to push my luck. bahala na. amido naman ako sa pagkakamali ko eh. kelangan lang ng matinding overhaul.

-speaking of bagong buhay, wala talagang saysay ang new year's resolutions ko. so much exercise and
avoiding junk food and soda. tsss..

-i so wanna go (shet, parang kikay conyo ang dating ng pagkakasabi ko. haha.. anyhoo..) to hed kandi on march 31. kaso ang mahal ng tix. and i miss partee-ing. oh well. bahala na si batman. but even if i dont go to hed kandi, when my april 1 leave gets approved, maghahagilap ako ng pwede maka-gimik. hehe.

-congrats to the new missus, roxy f. kurze! yey. so happy for you. even if you say ur mom got fat, she's still so pretty. anj told me cheri MIGHT visit in may. sana. yey! we'll be complete. you guys better tell me if tuloy kayo sa pag-uwi so i can file for leave so we can go out. wasakan na ito! hehe.

that's it for now.

hey roxy..

Happy Birthday!



and...

CONGRATULATIONS!

we miss you and we love ya dearly..

hugz and kissy-kiss from me and enzo

*the first pic is a poster of the "happy birthday to me" movie. gory film.

i hate my hair! i cut it short na. at ayokong magpakita sa mga tao.. i cut it shoulder length para mawala na yung curls. but from the ear til my shoulder mejo curly pa rin.. or wavy. and bec mejo curly sha, hindi sha naging shoulder length.. shorter pa. arrrghh... so i hafta tie my hair every morning cos hamfanget nya. nagtampo na buhok ko. i dunno what to do.. huhuhuhu.. i miss my long and straight hair na mukhang rebond..

was supposed to go to this 1st birthday party of my officemate's daughter. but to no avail.. di pumayag si lola. napagalitan pa ako cos i dont think daw of what may happen to enzo. kasi daw, he's so little (not literally..) tas igagala ko pa. baka daw makasagap ng sakit. but i know that at the back of her head she's thinking that ill meet up with my sperm donor to show enzo.. haha. feeling family thing. eeww. hindi talaga eh.

went out with my mavcomm friends some sundays ago. they watched a movie then i met up with them after.. tambay lang sa t-bar. kwentuhan.. hay. i miss them. i miss going out. havent been out.. as in gimik sa gabi na uumagahin ka na umuwi. i miss it. alas, my sked doesnt permit me to go gimik cos i have work on the weekends. hay. tas lahat ng saturday leave allocations nakuha na. ano buzz.. bhala na. and i wanna go to the beach. i wanna be negra! (wait. i take it back. i dont wanna be negra. bad hair na ako tas negra pa.. no! hehe) oh well. chaka na lang.

my sis and i met up last wed and we ate at amici de don bosco. nice pizza and pasta place. and it was nice to bond with my sister and make kwento and stuff. we rarely get to do that.

bakit andaming close relatives ng office mates ko ang namamatay? (okay. sorry, exagge lang ako. 2 lang sila). wala lang. weird. kasi one week lang ang pagitan. its so sad.. i wish them well..

season 2 na ng LOST. yey!

wala na akong maisip mailagay.. to be continued na lang.

Four jobs I've had:
1. night shift girl
2. marketing assistant chorva
3. secretary ni kuya
4. mother.. and this job i will have for-evah!

Four movies I can watch over and over again: (at the top of my head)
1. lahat ng matrix (you get to pick up something different everytime you watch it)
2. troy (i loff u eric bana!! and orlando bloom.. and brad pitt's butt..)
3. die another day (naging ambition kong maging secret agent.. aheheh)
4. any movie of wong kar wai
--basta, andun si keanu reeves and brad pitt, mananahimik ako. hehe.

Four places I’ve lived:
1. pasig all my life
2. taytay (my second home.. my second fam!!!)
3. shet. ayokong aminin.. pero well.. dapitan. kela sperm donor. ahaha..
4. my sister's house in merville

Four TV shows I love:
1. the 3 csis.. csi supreme sunday!
2. lost
3. will and grace
4. house md (wish ko lang palabas na ang season 2)
madami pa to.. god! im sucha couch potato noh..

Four of my favorite dishes:
1. anything pasta
2. ur right anj.. anything strawberry
3. pizza
4. basta ma-cholesterol.. hehe

Four sites I visit daily:
1. inq7.net
2. people.aol.com
3. mga blog ng mga tao
4. mnweb/inphonic.. haha. support site ng account

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. beach!!!
2. davao
3. up in my room.. alone.. sleeping (gusto kong ma-solo ko naman kama ko for once)
4. hmm.. alone nga ba? pwede ring.. ahahaha... shh...

Four bloggers I’m tagging:

troy
icko
anna
cheri

yung na ring mga walang lj pero binabasa blog ko. :)

i havent posted a blog in a long time.. so mejo mahaba-haba ito.

nothing much has been happening to me. im in a new shift now, 3am-12pm. i dont get much calls na nga nung 6am ako. and now.. wow, boredom strikes na talaga. i get around 20 calls per day. at madami na yon.
at least im not so stressed na. i still get to sleep at night. i can still catch some of my primetime shows.
the only prob with this shift is goin to the office. i hafta leave by 215-230am.. by cab. patay ang wallet ko. the driver used to bring me to work. but my mom talked to him and asked for his "asking price" or how much he would charge per day or per hatid. he was asking P150. hallur?! mas mahal pa sha sa cab ride ko, which is only P100. kelangan tatagan ko ng magcommute. i hafta buy pepper spray. hopefully, there would still be buses at edsa at that time (meron, pero pa-baclaran sila. i need ayala buses).
ive been sleeping during the weekends with this shift. and i get 10 calls per day. saya. im well rested. tas i can go gimik pa. ill file a leave. tas alis na lang ako maaga sa house pero kunwari i have work. hehe.

anyway, enzo's growing bigger.. as always. higanteng baby. hehe. he'll be 5months by next week. humahalakhak na sha. he smiles and laughs more often. and he has this new bisyo. he sticks out his tongue. wala lang. it looks so cute and funny.

12% na ang vat. holy kamote!!! sana lang ipampayad nga ng international debt at hindi ng mga luho ng mga corrupt jan.. kamahal mahal ng commodities at kaliit liit ng sweldo (yes, kakarampot pa rin ang kinikita ko even if some would beg to disagree. i have a kid kaya kakarampot lang sha.) a part of me really wants to leave this country.. you know, seek greener pastures. but im still having second thoughts.. like any sentimental fool, i dont wanna leave cos of the people ill be leaving behind. pero shempre, i cant help but think of enzo's future. hay. bahala na. i have 2-3 years from now to make ipon and decide.. if things go well here (despite political crisis and all that shit), i might stay.

palabas na ang PBB celebrity edition.. wahaha. as if im interested at inaantabayanan ko sha. hindi noh. really. i was just interested to know kung sino-sino ang kasama sa line up. and now that kilala ko sila, ayun. funny, andun ang lead singer ng jr kilat. and keanna reeves (is that how you spell her last name?). i wonder. rambol. haha. nobody there drool worthy and worth watching.. so there.

anyway, to those who know me well.. you know i always have a say or opinion about stuff.. so here it goes.
in line with the ultra tragedy.. manhid lang ba talaga ako? but honestly, when i heard the news, i was a little shocked. but hindi ako naiyak.
like me, my mom has her own opinion about the tragedy. but i cant help but disagree with her in silence. i dont wanna start a useless argument wherein your opinion will always be wrong and will never be heard. anyhoo, shempre, ever loyal ang mom ko sa network.. its not their fault daw and all that. i think otherwise.
and i would have to agree with the person who said that the people were manipulated by the network. yung treated like animals.. well, that was kinda harsh. but hey, its the reality. the truth most of the time stabs us at the most sensitive part of our being.
sure, that show helps a lot of people by giving away money. but think about it.. its a front for manipulation.. better ratings and all that. somehow, it glorifies being in that type of situation. instead of busying themselves with looking for work, or working, or doing something about their situation, they instead stay glued on the screen and wasting money by texting or waste their time falling in line everyday. it glorifies being in that situation because its like saying, "its okay to be like that. there is always hope.. hope in the sense that there will always be people willing to share their resources.." it creates some kind of dependency. big money.. easy money.. and, the bad thing about this "glorifying of the situation" is that, since we are aired in most places of the world, it makes us look really bad.. destitute and desolate.

segue: and also, these game shows reflect how bad our education system in the philippines is. bad english (wrong grammar, wrong pronunciation, etc), lack on basic knowledge (math, english, sciences, history..), etc.

i know, i know.. some will react that im just saying this cos ive never been in that situation cos i grew up privileged.. that im saying this from bird's eye point of view.. from my observations and not from someone who belongs in that type of situation. true and false. i was privileged. but i did experience that kind of situation (but i wont get into the details of that.. all of you my girlfriends know about that horrific past of mine, right?). but i did something about it.

but hey.. that's just me and my opinion about it..

guess who's curly.. hehehe

to my cuddly keps sistah, cheri...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

wag na cake. here's a bottle of vodka fo ya. cheers!

hamishu and halabshoo bitch. mwahugz from me and enzo.